After a few drinks at a townie bar in the Northwoods (where they didn’t know what Wild Turkey was even though they had more taxidermy on the walls than in a Cabela’s and maybe even a Big Mouth Billy Bass), some friends and I got to talking about dating. This glorious watering hole is a place where the usual conversation revolves around how Brett Favre will always be a Packer, old fishing stories and the count down to hunting season. With that being said, there were plenty of strangers willing to share their perspective.

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Since the last few articles were about the bar scene, I was talking and asking about the preferred communication method when you meet someone new. After knocking around the idea of the “can I get your digits (*See Footnote) approach?”, I came to the conclusion that there is a 24 hour window for communication. The 3-day rule does NOT apply however being overzealous is always bad. If you meet someone after 9pm, you are allowed one (singular, not plural) text message that evening (unless responded to) and should be kept to a “I look forward to getting to know you, coffee this week?” or “You just missed a Steven Seagal look-a-like”. Multiple texts that night which are not responded to will throw you into the ‘booty call’ category. This is where the tricky part comes in. Whoever asks for the number (regardless of which bathroom you use) has 24 hours to contact the other person before the other person chariot turns into a pumpkin. Even if this is a text that says something along the lines of “I put you in my phone as ‘cute girl – (insert bar name where you met)’ … would you like to grab a drink?”. If you send more than 2 texts or a call without a response, STOP. Do not pass Go, Do not collect $200 dollars. You don’t want to fall in to the category of the “Put the lotion in the basket” Guy. Chalk it up as an experience.

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Apart from the digits, things that were talked about were people asking for someone’s email address or for their name to ‘friend’ them on facebook. I can partially understand the email thing since it is a little less invasive than a direct line of communication. Jury is still out on that. On the other hand, the facebook connection borders extremely creepy on the dating front…. Like Jeffrey Dahmer creepy. This pretty much is asking for permission to stalk a perfect stranger by looking through all their pictures way too prematurely. Let’s try to get back to the days of the morning paper, the milkman, and asking a guy or girl out. Not via facebook or twitter, but by asking for the number and then actually calling…. Or at the very least, a playful text. *Footnote: It’s not acceptable to use the term, digits, when asking for a number. Don’t listen to your mother. Say ‘Hi’ to strangers. You may be surprised by who you meet!

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Now I’m not saying that it’s easy to talk to someone and hope that you hit it off without waving the white surrender flag. Technology has taken hold of our society and people are far more comfortable sending an email or text message as compared to actually calling someone or writing a letter, the scope of communication has changed. This applies to the dating scene as well and in this case, the bar. In the ‘hello’ stage at the bar, guys try to spit hot game with cheesy pickup lines that boarder ridiculous. Don’t get me wrong I have a favorite pickup line that I heard from a good friend that involves polar bears but I definitely don’t involve inquiries in to what type of pancakes someone likes, asking if they were made in heaven, or how good ones clothes would look artistically arranged on ones floor. My idea would be to try the newest innovative approach that is recommended by 9 out of 10 dentists. Show your pearly whites and say ‘Hi’. The ability to be laid back and show a non-aggressive approach can be something that may lower the Terror Threat Level from a daunting red to a more manageable colder color. This could help increase the length of conversation from a mere blink or two to the opportunity to get another round of Appletinis. Don’t listen to your mother. Say ‘Hi’ to strangers. You may be surprised by who you meet!

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Alright, so you didn’t meet anyone this week over some Chunky Monkey® or while taking Fido out on his nightly walk. You go out on Saturday with a few friends. Hopping on the vinyl saddle at your local watering hole and you start to put out the vibe. You see that special person a couple seats down, gaining a little courage by taking that last little sip or gulp or downing the rest of your Appletini. After dismounting that tall saddle, you take a few small steps and open your mouth to say a few words. This is where the problem arises….

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